Happy holidays y’all!
Wow, what a year. 2020 has been a hard one of all of us, myself included. You may have noticed I haven’t written a blog post for quite some time. Well, you know, sometimes life just gets on top of you. You have so much on your plate, you just don’t know where to start. It’s like trying to fit a jigsaw puzzle together when you have been given all the wrong pieces. Know the feeling?
Of course, we don’t need to be reminded about the pandemic we have been fighting this year. To be honest, when it hit, I felt very lucky to still have 2 steady incomes as me and hubby both work for the defence force. And As we went into lockdown, and all the flour started flying off the shelves of supermarkets around the country, we were pretty happy to actually be having some compulsory family time, while working from home.
During lockdown, I started to notice a small pink rash on my hip. No big deal I thought, but it started to spread, which was when I went to the doctor and they told me I had shingles, which is usually brought on by stress. Pfft, stress? I’m having the time of my life stuck at home, I thought.
It wasn’t until much later in the year when I had a total meltdown that I realised the stress had been building up throughout the year. I just had so many things on my to do list, and so many commitments each day to fit in together. I was trying to be a good manager to my team, while making sure my kids were at daycare or school at the right time. Keeping everything in my brain, which by the way is the worst way of organising your calendar. Driving 160km to and from work twice a week and (thankfully) working from home 3 days a week. Having what felt like 100 meetings a week, organising training, helping staff with their individual needs, trying to think ahead about when I needed my Mum to babysit while I was away for work, writing reports, dealing with sick kids and trying to work at the same time. Pretty much just trying to fit the puzzle of working full time and being a mum together. I just don’t know how people do it!
I knew something was wrong when I went to pick up Archer from school and burst into tears when the other Mum’s asked how my day was. I had only just made it there on time after fighting traffic for an hour and a half and realised I just don’t want to live this way anymore.
But I am one of the lucky ones right? I still have a job, I have a husband and 2 beautiful kids. A beautiful home to live in. If life feels this hard for me, then what about those who are really struggling?
Lucky for me, the Air Force has amazing leadership courses. I went away for 4 weeks on a promotion course, and the timing couldn’t have been any better. I realised I hadn’t been caring for myself. And if you don’t care for yourself, you are no good to anyone else. And I learnt how important mindfulness is. Mindfulness is really just your happy place. That might be going for a run, hanging out with friends, sitting quietly on the beach, or meditating.
If there is one thing I you take away from this post, it is that “me time” is important. Love yourself so you can love others. Since realising that, things have started to get better for me. No more crying at work. No more feeling guilty. I have started to see things more clearly. I have been forming better connections with my staff. I still have room for improvement, but I am on my way back to happiness.
Just look after yourself ok? And if that means that your zero waste mission falls of the bandwagon for a while then so be it. We all live crazy lives, and sometimes you just need a break right?
On that note, our grand total this year is three. Three rubbish bags out to the kerb for our household this year. I was a little disappointed we hadn’t done better to be honest, but when you consider that we were in lockdown for a good chunk of the year, I guess that’s not too bad!
Take care over the holidays, and Merry Christmas!